Ordination and Calling

It's a strange thing to work for years toward a goal and upon arriving, you realize it's nothing like you thought it would be. That's how I feel sometimes. It's almost surreal to realize that I have arrived to the place where I am doing what I will be doing for the rest of my life. I'm not sure I like it. Part of the problem lies in the fact that ministry in the UK looks nothing like ministry in the US. The other part of the problem lies in the shock of entering life outside of academia. I wonder if my classmates from Duke would express the same sentiment when I say that it seems that we spent so much time theorizing and idealizing the church...talking about what we should do instead of what we could do. And in reality, I know there is value at looking at the ideal so that we have something to aim toward. It's just that I feel so inadequate and unprepared to do whatever it is I'm supposed to do (which I wish somebody would just give me a syllabus for life so I could get on with checking things off...).

All this leads up to saying I had an interview with the Oversight Committee today. It's basically the English version of the Board of Ordained Ministry, only way less intimidating. I must admit some nervousness going into the interviews today. Some of you will remember the disaster that was my commissioning interviews. I had some not-so-pleasant flashbacks as I approached the day's activities. Thanks be to God it was completely painless. I had already filled out the forms ahead of time, they asked me questions I could answer, and were genuinely concerned with how things were going for me and I didn't feel at all like I was being judged. This all could largely stem from the fact that they have little to no influence on my future in ministry beyond the next 16 months or so. Regardless, it was almost a pleasant experience in comparison to last year's debacle. When I left the meeting, I wanted to ask, "Is that it?"

Otherwise, things continue to carry on. I'm learning more and more every day and hopefully by the end of my time in ministry (about 40 years from now), I'll have figured something out. I just returned from a much needed holiday to the midlands and parts of the northeast. We went to a probationers retreat in the midlands for the first part of the week--it was ok. The food was good. It wasn't all that I had hoped it would be. Ministers over here are simply different. They don't require a Masters degree for ministry and one can be ordained with very little education over here. Coming from a very academic setting and a church that places at least some value on educated clergy, it's an interesting experience to engage in theological conversation with probationers who are still in the midst of their training (study). The week ended up largely having two purposes--1. allowing the probationers to gripe about how hard it is to be a minister and 2. allowing probationers to tell one another what great ministers they are. The low point of the week had to be on the first morning when they invited a retired Anglican priest in to tell us the benefits of cooking for one's spouse. That led to an interesting discussion from the single folks in the crowd. When he ran out of things to talk about, he was then invited to talk about retirement--to a room full of people in their first or second year of ministry! In any case, I did get some reflection time in and that felt good.

Following the retreat, I headed north to York (via Lincoln...I had some time to kill) and had a lovely time. I stayed with a minister who lives near the city centre, which was convenient. I spent all day Friday just walking around the city and taking it in. On Saturday, I visited an old house and a ruined Abbey. It rained or snowed the whole weekend I was there, but otherwise, I enjoyed it. On Sunday, I attended a sung Eucharist service in York Minster. That was pretty cool, too. Plus, my host is a Duke alum and was kind enough to surrender his computer for a couple of hours so I could listen to the Blue Devils win the ACC tourney!

So here I am, back at it. Mom and Dad will be here in less than a month, followed by Steve's visit...woo hoo! Plus, I'm going back to Portugal soon, which I'm also looking forward to. Oh, and Easter's coming up as well. I hope you are keeping well. Drop me a line if you get the chance, I'd love to hear from you (except Ronald...I hear from you enough...:) )

Oh, and Go Duke!!