Work/Life Balance
One of the biggest difficulties about being a minister at all, and even more so in England, is the distinction between work and home. In this country, I have no office in a church. My office is in my home. Not only does that make it difficult to know where one ends and the other begins, but as with most parsonages in the US, the phone can ring at any time and anybody can stop by at any time. Well, I've now had my first experience of somebody dropping by unexpectedly at a bad time.
I had a date tonight. (Everyone pause appropriately for the utter amazement of that fact in and of itself.) The gentleman in question has invited me over to his place for a meal and some NFL action (yes, an English bloke who likes American football--a rare find!). I was running a tad late, but on my way. I had gotten in the car, made it out onto the road, when a somebody in an oncoming car starts flashing their lights at me. I recognize who it is, wave, and wasn't going to stop until I notice she has pulled over. So I mutter some sort of expletive and turn around to go back. We pull into my drive. The second she gets out of the car, she starts sobbing. Fabulous. Now what? We go inside, the situation has some history that I'm already aware of, so this was just a continuation of an ongoing problem that this woman's been facing for a while. She told me the latest bit of the story and asked me to go check on somebody else involved. What option do I have?
I rang up my date, said I was still coming, but would be arriving later than expected. Thankfully, he was understading about it all. So I finished talking to this lady, went and saw the other person, and then went to dinner. Did I do the right thing? Should I have cancelled the date and stayed with the family in question? There's nothing I could have done to fix the crisis. I got the update on the situation, prayed with them, and said I had something else I needed to get to. I then promised to ring them in the morning (which I will).
Good boundary setting or bad pastoral care? A tough call, really.
I had a date tonight. (Everyone pause appropriately for the utter amazement of that fact in and of itself.) The gentleman in question has invited me over to his place for a meal and some NFL action (yes, an English bloke who likes American football--a rare find!). I was running a tad late, but on my way. I had gotten in the car, made it out onto the road, when a somebody in an oncoming car starts flashing their lights at me. I recognize who it is, wave, and wasn't going to stop until I notice she has pulled over. So I mutter some sort of expletive and turn around to go back. We pull into my drive. The second she gets out of the car, she starts sobbing. Fabulous. Now what? We go inside, the situation has some history that I'm already aware of, so this was just a continuation of an ongoing problem that this woman's been facing for a while. She told me the latest bit of the story and asked me to go check on somebody else involved. What option do I have?
I rang up my date, said I was still coming, but would be arriving later than expected. Thankfully, he was understading about it all. So I finished talking to this lady, went and saw the other person, and then went to dinner. Did I do the right thing? Should I have cancelled the date and stayed with the family in question? There's nothing I could have done to fix the crisis. I got the update on the situation, prayed with them, and said I had something else I needed to get to. I then promised to ring them in the morning (which I will).
Good boundary setting or bad pastoral care? A tough call, really.
posted by RevSarah at 11:18 PM
2 Comments:
good call.
andrew
Being a pastor isn't any different from having a regular job. You need time away from the job in order to keep yourself mentally (and sometimes physically) prime, otherwise, as Pedro said, your self-neglect will impact your 'sheep'. You did what you could, and thankfully your date understood, and you're following up and continuing on with things. What else could you have done?
Now that's out of the way, let's hear more about this date. :)
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